The Power of Small Shifts: Embracing Wellness Through Life’s Chaos with Sami-Jo Emsley

The Power of Small Shifts: Embracing Wellness Through Life’s Chaos with Sami-Jo Emsley

In this inspiring episode of Thursday Tea with Sami, host Dr. Samia Estrada sits down with wellness advocate and author Sami-Jo Emsley—a fellow Sami with a powerful story of transformation. After navigating stress, weight gain, and the challenges of parenting a child with autism, Sami-Jo began making small but impactful lifestyle changes that improved her mental, physical, and emotional health.

Together, we explore:

• How spirituality helped her shift her mindset
• The role of nutrition, hydration, and movement in managing anxiety and depression
• The power of routine, rest, and compassion in staying consistent
• How she found time to write her book The Vintage Housewives Oracle Club amid her busy life

Sami-Jo’s story is a testament to the power of starting small, creating non-negotiable wellness moments, and giving ourselves grace along the way. Whether you’re a busy parent or just feeling overwhelmed, this episode will remind you that wellness is possible—one small step at a time.

🫖 Free Sample Chapter: https://thevintageoracle.com/samplechapter

Transcript

Samia (00:00)
Hi everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Thursday Tea with Sami, your sip of wellness and mental health. I'm your host, Samia Estrada, and today I'm very excited to introduce to you a very special guest who also happens to share my name, Sami.

Sami's story is one of resilience, balance, transformation, and after navigating the stress and the weight changes that came with motherhood, she began to make small but powerful lifestyle shifts that have not only improved her health and her well-being, but also have supported her as she grew her business, as she wrote her first book. Very exciting.

Sami-Jo Emsley (03:20)
Thank

Samia (03:22)
And in our conversation, we're going to explore how she found ways to bring nutrition, movement, rest, stress management, and connection into her daily life and how those pillars of lifestyle medicine created a ripple effect, both in her personal and in her professional world. So.

Grab your favorite cup of tea, settle in and join us for this inspiring conversation with Sami about the power of starting small, creating balance and embracing wellness, even in the busiest seasons of life. Sami, welcome to the podcast and thank you very much for joining us today.

Sami-Jo Emsley (04:04)
Thank you. Hi everyone and thank you Sami for having me. It's a pleasure to be here.

Samia (04:10)
It's my pleasure. I would love for our listeners to hear a little bit more about you. Can you share a little about your background and what sparked your journey into health and wellness?

Sami-Jo Emsley (04:24)
So my background is quite a complicated one. So I'm a mum of two, but I am a sen mum. So my oldest son has quite severe autism and I literally was just kind of bouncing through everyday life, feeling completely stressed, completely overwhelmed, not knowing what to do. And then I discovered my spirituality.

and my spirituality kind of gave me a calm and I got myself certified and I could help other people and I think it was that shift in mindset from discovering my spirituality is when I started to be able to piece things together a little bit more. ⁓ Things have got a little bit worse with my son as he gets older, his needs get more significant. So that's basically me just full time.

mum, really busy, you know, can be overwhelmed sometimes, but just your normal mum.

Samia (05:30)
Yes, absolutely. And you know, you and I spoke a little bit.

before the show and you told me about some of the things that had changed for you initially when you became a mom. ⁓ And I can't even begin to imagine, you know, all the stressors of being a mom and having a child who has autism and and just juggling everything, all the everyday stressors that life throws your way. But would you mind sharing a little bit about how your life changed initially?

⁓ Maybe not necessarily for the good, but how it initially changed when you became a mom and then then we'll talk about the change that came along after that.

Sami-Jo Emsley (06:14)
Absolutely. So when I became a mum, a lot of things happened all at the same time. Where we were living was a very small confined space. It wasn't very safe for my son. We moved. It was also not safe for my son. Then my husband had some problems. He had to move out and deal with his health for a little while. This all landed on top of like...

the exact time of becoming a mum. Then my two-year-old came along as well. So I then, I didn't realise the severity of Gabriel's autism before I had Lucian. So then we have, you know, more challenges with that and then a new baby and a fight on our hands to get somewhere to live that was actually safe for my disabled son and gave them the room that they needed.

Samia (07:08)
That sounds like a lot to juggle. It sounds like there were issues with the place where you were living. There was the concern for the safety for your children. There were things happening with your husband. through all that, you were probably the glue that tried to hold everything together, right? Yeah. Did you notice any changes in your mood or your body as all this was happening?

Sami-Jo Emsley (07:26)
Yeah, absolutely, yeah.

Absolutely, mean my go-to when I'm feeling overwhelmed and things feel too much, go-to is food. So my mental health had taken a dive and then because that's my go-to then my physical health took a dive and leading on from that, you know, it makes you feel lethargic and it makes you feel depressed and down and just like everything's failing really.

Samia (08:00)
Yeah, yeah. ⁓ I can imagine. And you talked a little bit about ⁓ facing stress and weight gain after your second child. What was life like for you after that time? When was the turning point when you decided to make those changes for your health and your overall well-being?

Sami-Jo Emsley (08:23)
Actually, my friend had invited me along to a crystal workshop and it was something that I thought I'd go along and try, just find out a little bit more about crystals. And it was from there that I met my teacher and I ended up moving on to cards and then becoming certified to teach and going on from there. And because that

was helping with my calm and my mental health so much, it just became easier to actually to step back and look from a different perspective, I think is what it was. And when you can do that, when you can look from a different perspective, that's when you can start to make these little changes that before, for some reason, you just thought you weren't even slightly capable of. But

somehow it just becomes easier just from having that new aspect in your life. Yeah. Yeah.

Samia (09:26)
Absolutely,

yeah. that, when that spirituality came into your life, it really just allowed you to take that step back and to look at things differently. And once you were able to do that, then those little changes, you just started to see them happening more and more.

Sami-Jo Emsley (09:44)
Yes, absolutely, yeah.

Samia (09:45)
That's amazing. So I want to break it down into different components. Tell me a little bit about how nutrition played a role in helping you to feel better, maybe more energized, maybe just having a different outlook on your day just from eating differently.

Sami-Jo Emsley (10:07)
Well the first thing with cleaning up my nutrition was my quality of sleep. That improved immediately. So my quality of sleep, because I was eating food that was good for my body, I wasn't feeling bloated and sluggish and so I had a lot more energy. That along with a better quality of sleep was obviously a big, big change.

Samia (10:16)
Okay.

Sami-Jo Emsley (10:31)
making sure that I was hydrated. I mean, I put water in with nutrition, it's all part of our nutrition, and making sure that I'm properly hydrated. And then you also avoid that trap that your body falls into, you know, if you're thirsty, your body mistakes it for hunger. And so you think you need to eat more. And then of course, I would snack and I would grab. But because I'm eating nutritious food, because I'm hydrating myself properly, because I'm sleeping properly,

Samia (10:48)
Yes.

Sami-Jo Emsley (11:01)
then that in turn as a team, you've got more energy, you just feel better, don't you? Just everything just feels better, more energetic. I've got two little boys that are, that run rings around me. I need energy. They want to play. They're two little boys. So I need my energy for that. So yeah, the nutrition side of things, yeah, went a really long way towards feeling much better.

Samia (11:14)
Of course.

Yes, I can imagine just eating the right foods makes such a difference in our life and like you said in sleep and energy and the way that we feel even the way that our body behaves, you know, sometimes when we're not eating right or we're not drinking enough water, we can see we have more dry skin, brittle nails, brittle hair. But then the moment we start making those changes, all of a sudden everything starts to change. I'm so glad that that happened to you. And I also know that change is

Sami-Jo Emsley (11:50)
Yeah.

Samia (11:54)
really difficult. So when you approached it, did you approach it with small gradual changes or did you feel like bigger shifts were better for you?

Sami-Jo Emsley (12:04)
I started with small gradual changes and to be honest with you, whole thing, there's never been any big shifts. There hasn't needed to be. So I started off gradual. I started by first of all committing to a non-negotiable time every day for exercise. A time that I knew that I could. A time that I might not feel like it or I might be tired.

but a time that I knew that my boys were in bed and it's non-negotiable. that might seem like a big shift to some people. To me, that's quite just a small little thing because the impact that that decision has is huge. And then from the, again, the hydration side of things, I worked out exactly how much water my body should be having every day.

Samia (12:46)
Yes.

Sami-Jo Emsley (12:58)
and then realising that I was having way, way less. That's a really small implement to pop into your routine. Just finding out exactly how much water you should be drinking. Make sure you're consuming that. And then with my nutrition, I had decided to focus on breakfast, lunch, dinner and a snack. So I had a kind of like a system through my day. It was kind of pre-planning, I suppose you would say, but it was those three things.

pick my non-negotiable time to exercise, make sure I'm drinking enough water and then make sure I know which meals I'm having and when. And to be honest, that can be a little bit overwhelming for people when they're getting started again. And the best thing for that with me is just to list off all the healthy things that I like. I'm a sucker for cucumber sticks and guacamole. So make sure I've got that in by the haul load and if it gets a little bit later on in the day and I'm hungry.

Samia (13:49)
yes.

Sami-Jo Emsley (13:54)
and I can snack on that or carrot sticks. You know, just making sure that you kind of, know where you're going, you know what you're turning to. Whichever aspect of that is most important for you. If you just plan ahead these little things, it's surprising how when you have some direction and you just go into your day, when you know what you're doing and you don't have to think about it all on the spot.

It's so easy and it is just implementing these little changes. It's surprising how much difference it makes, honestly.

Samia (14:26)
Absolutely. Yes, I love that you mentioned, you know, thinking about everything that you like, everything that you enjoy eating. And by the way, you're making me hungry because that sounds so good. The carrots sticks with the guacamole and the cucumber. delicious. ⁓ And who wouldn't want that, right? Unless that's something I don't like, I can understand that. ⁓ but it sounds like with a little bit of planning, it just made your life so much easier. Yeah.

Sami-Jo Emsley (14:47)
Mmm.

Yeah,

and it was a little bit of planning. It was really small things. They're not hard things to put in place, but the difference that it made is huge. It changed my whole routine without feeling like, oh my God, I've got to change my whole routine. If you know what I mean, it kind of fell into place nicely, just from those small little things.

Samia (15:04)
Yeah.

Yeah. So what advice would you give somebody who's really busy and you know, maybe a woman or a man or parents who want to improve their eating habits without feeling overwhelmed and they just want to take that first step? What would you say that first step would be?

Sami-Jo Emsley (15:33)
The very first step, in my opinion for me, it's your hydration. It starts with hydration. You know, as I said before, if your body is dehydrated, it can mistake it for hunger. If you're busy, you're on the go, you just grab what you can when you can. So just make sure that your body doesn't think it's hungry when it's not. If I had to pick a first step, that's exactly where I would start, get your hydration in order.

Samia (15:59)
Okay, definitely that's so important. And I know that I said that I wanted to break this down into the different components. So let me ask you a little bit about movement now. What forms of movement or what forms of physical activity have been the most helpful for you in your wellness journey?

Sami-Jo Emsley (16:20)
So I have 30 minutes set aside each day, ⁓ just from my living room. I haven't joined a gym. I don't have to go out to classes or anything. It's just at home. Like I said, boys are in bed. I just have to go to the next room. I've allowed myself 30 minutes. You could do longer. You can do 10 minutes. And in that time, I mix weight training and cardio, which seems to be the most effective way.

for me to keep in shape and to get my weight down especially. So it's a mixture of weights and cardio. And then I do like to add in some yoga at the weekend. know, stretching is everything. It's good for the mind, it's good for the body and especially if you're training a little bit harder in the week, it's nice to give your body that little bit of respite at the weekend with some good, it can just be some gentle yoga. It doesn't have to be, you know, a hard class.

Samia (17:00)
Yes, okay.

Sami-Jo Emsley (17:16)
and maybe I won't even do half an hour, maybe I'll just do 10, 15 minutes, but just so I've had that time just to prepare my body for the next week, I suppose, yeah.

Samia (17:26)
Yes, yes. And I know that your schedule as a mom is super busy and ⁓ it sounds like you really made this a priority for yourself so that nothing will come in the way of you getting your physical activity done even though your world might be very chaotic that day or that week or that month or that year but that is a constant for you.

Sami-Jo Emsley (17:50)
Yes, absolutely it had to be. I got to a point where my doctor took me off of my contraceptive pill because I was too heavy and I had to have tests for hypertension. There was the possibility I might have to go on medication for high blood pressure and things like this. And all these quite life-changing things were happening all because I was too heavy. And it just kind of makes you realize, don't let it get to that.

Samia (17:59)
good.

Sami-Jo Emsley (18:19)
and that's why I like to share my story so people can think about that before they get to my stage and hopefully it will help, you know, because there is a lot at stake and we need to be healthy, you know, for us, for our families, if we have children, you know, we need to be healthy for our children. So, yeah.

Samia (18:34)
Yeah.

Sami-Jo Emsley (18:42)
That kind of gave me a bit of a kick up the bum, it's funny how it's very easy to make something a priority when you know it's important. It's just realising how important it is.

Samia (18:50)
Yes.

Yes, absolutely. That's definitely so scary when your doctor tells you things like that and now you worry about what your future might look like. And I agree with you. I love that you're sharing your story with us because this can be something that

allows people to really think about their life and how they might want to change it before it gets to that point. But I also think that you can be an inspiration for anybody who's even at that point or further down to say, you know, you were able to do it and they'll be able to do it too. I can do, I definitely feel inspired by you. ⁓ And I think that these are changes that we all can make. ⁓ I remember way back when I was in junior college,

I had a nutrition teacher.

who said that ⁓ people often wait until something goes wrong before they make changes in their life. And she was talking about ⁓ how she lived a pretty healthy lifestyle pretty much for most of her life, most of her adult life, ⁓ although it hadn't been so healthy when she was younger. And she noticed that ⁓ living that healthier lifestyle, she was a lot happier, more energetic, she got sick less and all that.

And she often would ⁓ share information with her friends and family and everybody would just kind of like in one ear and out the other. ⁓ But then whenever they would get sick, she said she had people who then maybe got cancer or had heart issues and stuff like that. And then they would come to her and say, what do I do now? And she would think to herself, well, all this time I've been trying to give you some ideas and things like that. You didn't want it.

Sami-Jo Emsley (20:32)
Yeah.

Samia (20:40)
⁓ Sometimes we do wait until something has happened, but regardless of if we do it before, we do it during, or if we do it after, I think it's really important to take that first step and just make those changes for ourselves.

Sami-Jo Emsley (20:40)
Yes.

Absolutely.

think the main problem is that people don't realise how easy it can be. They just think they don't stand a chance. ⁓ It can just be so simple. It doesn't have to add to the overwhelm of a busy schedule.

Samia (21:00)
Yes.

Right. And sometimes I think it makes it better and less overwhelming, right? Because you do feel better. You feel less lethargic, less tired. It allows you to focus better, to concentrate better. So even with a busy schedule, I feel like sometimes you function so much better that it makes sense to do these things during your day.

Sami-Jo Emsley (21:28)
Yeah, absolutely,

yeah.

Samia (21:31)
What changes have you found or what changes have you noticed in your mood and your energy when you're consistent with your movement and your nutrition?

Sami-Jo Emsley (21:40)
I mean, I'm somebody that suffers with anxiety and depression, not so much now, but early in my 20s and my teens. I suffered quite badly with that. And when my nutrition's off balance and my movement's off balance, I can feel that starting to creep back in. So that's a huge thing for me. I couldn't leave my house for a year at one point because I was too crippled with mental health problems.

For me, it's a huge impact. Changing up my nutrition, staying hydrated, moving, really keeps my head in check. And my focus as well, my focus when I have to work on things, you you mentioned the book and there's other things that I'm doing. And, you know, I kind of find myself getting sort of brain blocks when I'm not feeding myself properly and I'm not moving my body. And my thinking is a lot clearer.

as well as obviously the physical, you know. I've always said like I just feel lighter and I don't know if that's like a bit of placebo effect, but it just feels like my head is lighter because my body is lighter and everything just feels, I could have maybe only lost a pound, but it feels like I've lost 10 pounds because I just feel so much lighter. It's a difficult thing to explain, but for me, yeah, that's.

Samia (23:00)
I'm out of here.

Sami-Jo Emsley (23:04)
Yeah, it's mainly mental health focus for me. That's the ⁓ real difference that I can see when I'm keeping everything how it should be.

Samia (23:14)
Okay, yeah. It's almost like if you're organized and consistent with the things that help you feel good, then your brain also feels organized and consistent and your body follows suit.

Sami-Jo Emsley (23:28)
Yeah,

I think we feel physically better when our head feels better as well. Even if there's been no physical change, our head feeling better does make our physical health in turn better. So I think it all starts in the head.

Samia (23:48)
Yes, yes. All right. So we've talked about nutrition. We talked about movement. ⁓ How has your relationship with rest and sleep changed since making wellness a priority for yourself?

Sami-Jo Emsley (24:01)
The quality of my sleep, as I said earlier, is an awful lot better. But actually, I think because of putting the effort in to focus on my wellness, that's kind of dropped any of those feelings of guilt. Like when you're a really busy person, you feel like if you're resting, you feel guilty for it, like you shouldn't be doing it. But actually now my relationship with rest is...

there's no guilt and I need to do it because that's what's going to keep me healthy for me and for everybody around me that needs me. So my relationship has drastically changed as far as that's concerned. I would not rest when I needed to and then I would burn out and that doesn't happen anymore.

Samia (24:52)
Yeah, that's wonderful. And it's so true. think a lot of times we think one of the biggest things that comes up for my clients is that self-care feels too indulgent or it feels egoistical or it feels like you're taking care of yourself and ignoring everything else. But the reality is that if we are healthy, if we're taking care of ourselves,

then we're in a better position to be able to be there for others, whether it's taking care of somebody else or just being there as a friend or a family member or a loved one. ⁓ We can't do that if we're not well. So when we do take care of ourselves, that makes us that much better at being there for someone else. So self-care is for us, but it benefits everybody else at the same time.

Sami-Jo Emsley (25:39)
Yeah.

It does, it does. It's, you know, it's a selfless act. And I think people just fall into that idea of it being selfish. They feel selfish. You know, they feel like they're almost like they're dropping the ball. Like, I can't keep on top of all of this that I've got going on and juggle all these plates. If heaven forbid, I take a minute for myself and then failure. So that the failure mindset starts to come in. And that's just not how it is at all. So yeah.

Samia (26:11)
Yeah, I get it. Do you have any particular routines or habits that help you wind down and get that restorative sleep? If there are any days where maybe it's a little bit harder to fall asleep, do you have anything that you normally do? ⁓

Sami-Jo Emsley (26:27)
When I get into bed, I always do a 10 minute meditation before I go to sleep. And sometimes I'll focus on something, sometimes I'll use a guided meditation, or sometimes I'll just focus on trying to quiet my brain. And I have my crystals around my bed, and I have my sage and my candles and my incense that are all put out before I go to sleep, I just want to add.

Samia (26:53)
Okay. Thank you for letting us know

that.

Sami-Jo Emsley (26:59)
But it's just that, again, non-negotiable little space of time. And in the morning, it's drawing my Oracle cards to get set for the day ahead. So I start with my Oracle and I end with my meditation and my crystals.

Samia (27:15)
Okay, good. So you're starting your day with your spirituality, you're ending with your spirituality, and in between you're making sure that you keep really constant with the things that you know that help you feel good.

Sami-Jo Emsley (27:28)
Yeah and they're things that just don't take very long at all. can just pull a quick card while I'm making the boys breakfast and you know a 10 minute meditation. I'm just about to go to bed anyway. It's so easy you don't have to put in an hour of your time to do this massive card reading. You know they're just little like snippets that you can fit in that are just for you.

Samia (27:50)
Yes, great. What would you say to someone that has a hard time with stress and

and is just having a hard time finding ⁓ the time to do any practice or managing that stress. Do you have any go-to practices for managing it or any ⁓ recommendations for somebody who might just not know where to start?

Sami-Jo Emsley (28:24)
To be honest with you, meditation is for everybody. Meditation is not just a spiritual thing. ⁓ You know, I come from a spiritual place with it. But if you're not a spiritual person, there's no reason that you can't meditate. Don't even call it meditating. But just everybody has five, 10 minutes in their day. I feel like the people that don't have time to do anything are the people that are telling themselves they don't have time and that's why they don't have time.

I thought I didn't have time to exercise. thought how on earth am I going to fit that in? And then it's funny how, ⁓ now I've just found 30 minutes. Nothing changed in my life, but I then found that 30 minutes. And so with a 10 minute meditation, like I said, you don't have to be spiritual. Just sit in the quiet, sit with yourself. Sitting with the earth, again, I know that sounds a little bit spiritual, but just if you're not, go outside, sit on the grass, cross your legs and...

close your eyes and just be in the moment. Just only focus on the quiet and the nothing. Just, and if you, when you focus on that, even if it's just for a short amount of time, it makes such a difference when you carry on with the rest of your day.

Samia (29:45)
Yes, absolutely. I was just going to ask you what keeps you grounded when life feels chaotic, but it sounds like this is exactly it. That, you know, just dropping down to the ground on the grass or taking that 10 minutes for your meditation.

And you know, it's true you say that you know, sometimes we feel like we don't even have 15 minutes to spare I remember watching TED talk once and I wish I could remember the name of the person in the TED talk, but she Was basically talking about how we don't have time in our day. We always have something going on

But if we don't make time for our priorities, they're never gonna happen. And that even when we don't have time, we always have to make time for things that happen. Like she gave the example of she was always busy and she didn't have time to do this or that. And then her water heater went out and the water went everywhere and she had to call somebody to fix it. And all of a sudden it took eight hours and somehow she found eight hours to deal with that catastrophe, right?

Sami-Jo Emsley (30:43)
Thank you.

Yeah.

Samia (30:55)
I think

⁓ we're always able to find the time when we make it a priority, right? Obviously that ⁓ flood in her garage because of the water heater was a priority and she had to make the time for it. But I think it just speaks to what ⁓ we prioritize and what we give our time to.

Sami-Jo Emsley (31:16)
Absolutely, I have conversations with people in my Facebook community and I heard so much, you know, I want to learn to do this, I want to focus on that but I have no time, but I have no time. And then I say to them, by the time we finish that little exchange in the comments, they could have done what they're saying they don't have time for.

Samia (31:35)
Yes.

Right. I agree. It's

Sami-Jo Emsley (31:42)
They've had the

Samia (31:42)
true.

Sami-Jo Emsley (31:43)
time to sit there and talk to me about what they don't have time for. Well, don't sit there talking to me. Go and do it.

Samia (31:45)
Right.

Exactly. Yeah, that's a perfect example. Right. Yeah, we prioritize certain things. Yeah. Well, and speaking of that, how have your relationships, your friendships, your family, etc. supported your health journey along the way?

Sami-Jo Emsley (31:54)
It's its own policy, yeah.

I'm an extremely lucky person because I am surrounded by people. I don't have a massive family, but I'm surrounded by people that support me and want the best for me. And not everybody has that luxury. So I do count myself extremely lucky for that. They support me. They want me to be healthy. They want me to be happy. They want me to succeed. And so, you know, my husband will...

Samia (32:22)
Yeah.

Sami-Jo Emsley (32:37)
take over all responsibilities, regardless of what's happening. It can be absolute carnage, but if it's my 30 minutes to work out, then I'm doing it. You know, my mum, if I have a wobble, I mean, don't get me wrong. I mean, I'm saying all these wonderful things. That doesn't mean it's just a straight line of perfection for me, you know? Sometimes I might gain a couple of pounds back. It's been a really bad week. My head's not in a good place. It happens. It's how you pick yourself up afterwards.

But I have my mum as my sounding board. know, mum can always make you see reason, can't she? Mum can always do that. So, yeah, I'm extremely fortunate and I have people that want to enable me to do what I'm doing. So, yeah. Yeah.

Samia (33:09)
Yes.

Good, good. Yeah, I think ⁓ having that support just makes such a huge difference in our life. Having somebody who's there for us, somebody, even somebody who just cheers us on, right? Like good for you, you're doing this, even if they can't help in any other way. Yeah.

Sami-Jo Emsley (33:35)
Yes.

Yeah, absolutely.

Samia (33:40)
Yeah, and you talked about your mom and how she supports you and now I'm kind of curious about you as a role model for your children. How do you feel that you model those healthy habits for your children so that they can grow up having that healthier lifestyle that you now have found?

Sami-Jo Emsley (34:01)
So I've started implementing these things from a really, really young age. My youngest is only two. My oldest is five, but he is nonverbal and autistic and he doesn't have any understanding. But since they've been tiny babies, we go out as a family and we do active things. So I'm lucky that I live in the New Forest in Hampshire. So we walk.

and we'll walk, you when they're tiny babies, they're strapped to us and as they get older, they do a bit of walking. We're also on the coast, so we can go to the cliff tops and we can walk there. We're very outdoorsy and we want that to become a habit of theirs. ⁓ We supply them with sort of activities in the garden, so it's like it's play for them, but they're more interested in coming outside.

Samia (34:49)
Yes.

Sami-Jo Emsley (34:53)
and running about and burning off some energy than they are sat inside watching a screen. They're obviously, you know, watching me and their dad sort of undergoing healthy activities by choice and enjoying it. And that's hopefully going to rub off on them because like I said, we start them really early. And eating habits and things like that, you know, I cook.

Samia (35:08)
Yes.

Sami-Jo Emsley (35:20)
as a family. feel like if children are used to eating a certain way, then they're okay with it. You know, they don't dig their heels in. I'm not saying I won't ever have any problems when they get a little bit older, but if they're used to eating their veggies and their fruit and they're not, you know, they're not having junk all the time, then they're okay with that. They make their peace with that and they want the healthier food. So yes, I'm implementing everything. Everything.

Samia (35:47)
Yes, wonderful.

You know, you talked about them loving being outdoors and I think that's such a huge thing because there's so much research about nature and how soothing nature is and how good it is for us. ⁓ And you know, I'm thinking about what you told me before about

Sami-Jo Emsley (35:59)
or

Samia (36:07)
used to experience anxiety and depression and that's still part of your life, right? But it's a part that's now managed and now you're in a different part of your journey. But when we think about depression and anxiety, nature is one of the best things that we can do, you know, to get outdoors, to get that fresh air, to be around greenery, trees, plants, flowers, et cetera. So I love that you're implementing that early on and then

Sami-Jo Emsley (36:30)
No.

Samia (36:36)
They're just gonna grow up and know that that's important, that's part of their life. That's just what they do. It's not gonna be something that they even have to think about. It's just gonna be something they do, just like the food, right? It's not something that they have to think about. This is just the food that they eat. So they're used to eating that healthy food and getting out and playing and being in nature.

Sami-Jo Emsley (36:41)
Thank

Yes.

My mum did the same with me. I grew up in the 90s, so things were obviously a little bit different then. We didn't have all like, you know, have these devices that we have now that kids love. We didn't have social media and things like that. But me and my mum were always out in the forest, always out doing something. And I lived in a cul-de-sac with, you know, lots of other families. And the children would just like play outside, bikes, scooters, running.

Samia (37:10)
Yes.

Sami-Jo Emsley (37:27)
Like our idea of fun was seeing who could run the fastest down the road. And my mum, my mum kind of supported that. And I think, when the very first PlayStation came out, this is going back such a long time, the very first PlayStation came out and I did have one, but it didn't rule my life. And I was still outside being really active because those habits and, and behaviors and things have been implemented from just when I was really little.

Samia (37:32)
Yes.

Yeah.

Sami-Jo Emsley (37:57)
And by the time you get to the age of like, I think I was 12 maybe when it came out, the habits are implemented by then, aren't they? So you don't get too caught up in it because you want to go and do the things you're used to doing as well.

Samia (38:13)
Right, yes,

I agree completely. That was my childhood too. I was always playing outside. My mom would sometimes get upset because I'd come home and I'd be covered in mud because I had been, you know, playing in the dirt and climbing trees and riding my bicycle and running and, you know, and especially in the summer I was allowed to go out in the morning and I had to just be back before the lights went on. So that meant, you know, before dusk.

Sami-Jo Emsley (38:30)
Yeah.

Samia (38:41)
And I would be out all day. I would be out playing. And I'm going to date myself too, but I'm from the time of when Atari first came out. So that's a lot before the PlayStation. ⁓ And I also had one. I had one of the first ones. And I liked it and I played with it a little bit, maybe at night or something like that. But it wasn't my first priority. My first priority was always to go outside and play.

Sami-Jo Emsley (38:51)
Right.

Yeah, because you've established those behaviors and those patterns, haven't you? And then once it's in there, it's in there, isn't it? So,

Samia (39:15)
Yes.

Yes,

it is. So what about community? Do you find that community and support networks ⁓ help people to sustain that those lifestyle changes or do feel that it's better to go at it alone?

Sami-Jo Emsley (39:34)
I think it completely depends on the individual. I don't think there is a right or wrong for that. Personally, I like to go it alone. And if I'm part of a community, if I go to a class or, you know, I'm part of an online community or something, if I'm starting to have a wobble, that doesn't prevent me having that wobble. So for me, having a community doesn't make a difference. And I'm quite happy going about it by myself.

I think if you are the kind of person that is sort of like, you know, encouraged by having other people around you, then absolutely go and find your people. Like I said, whether it be like an online community, going to a class, joining a gym, you know, if that's what you want to do. Again, that's okay for the time poor because you can go to the gym for half an hour.

You find a gym that's close to you and you can go do in the gym what I do in my living room for 30 minutes. But you've got other people around you. You can meet like-minded people. Same with classes. Online communities are great as well. I've been a part of a few over the years. And yeah, I don't personally feel like they have that much of an impact for me, but I can see how they've really positively impacted other people.

Samia (40:55)
Yeah.

Sami-Jo Emsley (40:57)
Yeah, so that's what I would say. If you go it alone, go it alone if that's what works for you. But if you do thrive in a community, go and find your people.

Samia (41:06)
Yes, yeah. Yeah, and if you do go and find the people, I think that there are plenty of groups out there that would be happy to have another member. And like you said, there's, could be community based where you actually walk into a building or even go out for a walk, right? I'm part of a program called Walk with a Doc where, you know, as a psychologist, I go with a group of people and I

I'm walking, but I'm also encouraging other people in the community to walk. And I think that that's a great program, you know, to get people out walking and learning about health and things like that. ⁓ But also some people ⁓ don't have the time or can't, or maybe they can't find the right schedule for them. And for that, there's a lot of online communities. And so I think that that's, you know, that's such a great help. Yeah.

Sami-Jo Emsley (41:59)
Yeah,

there's different layers, you you find your support where you can, you find it in a way that suits you. But yeah, there's so many different layers, like, you know, you can find something that fits you.

Samia (42:12)
Yes, yes, absolutely. Well, I'm kind of curious about this because I know so far from what you've told me, I can tell that you're a very organized person and you plan things just right. ⁓ And that has worked for you. But I know that many of us turn to food or alcohol or even screens or anything else, right? When we're stressed.

Sami-Jo Emsley (42:34)
Thank you.

Yes.

Samia (42:37)
Did that ever happen

to you and how did you navigate those tendencies in your own life if that ever happened?

Sami-Jo Emsley (42:43)
To be honest with you, ⁓ when I've exercised, it de-stresses me. And so that gives me the drive to do it even if I don't feel like it, because I know that it will make me feel better. And it will definitely make me feel better than having a glass of wine or ten. It will definitely make me feel better than it would to go and eat a bunch of greasy food. Like that's a short-term fix.

Samia (42:47)
Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Yes.

Sami-Jo Emsley (43:12)
and

it doesn't actually make you feel better anyway because then you feel guilty for it. remembering that, know, remember how you're going to feel afterwards and kind of, know, if you turn to the things that you know are good for you, there's no regret, there's nothing. But I do also want to say on the flip side of that, if you do slip back, like that's okay.

Samia (43:16)
Yes.

Yes.

Sami-Jo Emsley (43:38)
Because so many people think, God, it's game over. No, I don't have the mindset that she's talking about. No, she's saying she'll do her workout anyway. I won't do that. I don't have that mindset. And sometimes you'll slip. Well, do know what? Just keep trying and trying and trying and trying until you do. Because it's not a failure. It's not a failure. It's like one of my wheels fell off of my car. So I'm just going to take the other three off as well then.

Samia (44:06)
Right.

Sami-Jo Emsley (44:06)
It's

like, you don't need to, just it happened, pick yourself up and carry on again. And if it takes you a minute, it takes you a minute. There's no rush. But you need to, yeah, I would just say, because everybody can do this, just remind yourself of how you'll feel afterwards, how you'll feel after each of your go-tos that aren't so good and each of your go-tos that are good and focus on that. Because that, if you do actually think about it,

it gives you a little light bulb moment and all of a sudden for me I find myself not wanting those things because I know I'm going to feel worse and I'm already feeling bad so why do want to feel worse?

Samia (44:49)
Right, that makes sense, yes. And

I love that you talked about ⁓ if it doesn't work out, right? Because a lot of times we see that as failure, but it's not really failure. ⁓ I think anytime that we think about starting a new habit, that there's always the possibility for relapse. That's a given almost, that no matter what new habit you're starting, you could be doing really good. ⁓

possibility for relapse is always there. And it's just what you do with it. And I think that that also involves a lot of self kindness and self compassion to say to yourself, you know what, I'm human. And yes, ⁓ maybe I didn't want to eat that piece of cake because I knew I was going to feel worse afterward, but I ate it anyway. And now I feel worse afterward. And now I know better for the next time. I'll remember this, you know.

Sami-Jo Emsley (45:21)
or

you

Samia (45:45)
When we can be kind to ourselves and we can say, well, you I'm human, I make mistakes, this is what happens, and then move on from that, it's a lot easier to get back on track than when we're hard on ourselves, right? Because if I say to myself, I knew I wasn't gonna be able to do this, here I went and grabbed the cake, even though I knew I wasn't supposed to, I'm never gonna be able to do this.

Sami-Jo Emsley (45:53)
Mm.

you

Samia (46:10)
then it's less likely for us to keep trying because we're already telling ourselves we can't do it, right? So I love that you brought that up because that's such a huge part of any habit changes that relapse and it will happen and it will happen sometimes multiple times and that's okay because every time it happens, we can just get back on.

Sami-Jo Emsley (46:17)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely. It's happened to me so many times. You know, it did. And I'm sure it will happen again. But it's, yeah, it's like you just said, it's how you choose to deal with it. It's the choices you then make afterwards. If you're to have the mindset of the wheels, one's fallen off, so I might as well take the other three off. Then, you know, that's where you don't want to be. But if you can just, if you can accept, I think it's acceptance.

Samia (46:35)
Yeah.

Sami-Jo Emsley (47:01)
is a big problem. I honestly, you know, I gave myself years of like mental hell eating something bad. When I was like, when I was a healthy weight, but I was exercising and I was like, you know, like had my nutrition in order. And then I do something bad and then I would weigh in a pound heavier on the scales the next day and the world had ended, but I was a health weight. was, you know, so,

Samia (47:13)
Yes.

Yes.

Sami-Jo Emsley (47:30)
I've completely broken that mindset and I will tell you what, if I can break that mindset, anybody can break that mindset. you honestly, you can, you just need to know you're not gonna have a straight line of perfect, that's not how it works. ⁓ And you shouldn't do, you wouldn't be normal, you wouldn't be a human being if you had a straight line of perfect. You're gonna skip a workout, you're gonna have a drink during the week when you told yourself you're not gonna drink in the week.

Samia (47:37)
Yes.

Sami-Jo Emsley (47:58)
you're going to eat a meal that you really shouldn't because it's really bad for you. But do it, accept it, and then move on.

Samia (48:04)
Yes, yes, that's so true and and such a good point to make, right, because I think

Like I said, that's a given that that that sometimes we're going to fall off the wagon, right? No matter what habit we're trying to change. And when we can be kind and compassionate and accepting of ourselves, then it's a lot easier to get back on and just continue that journey. Not to say I'm just not going to drive anymore because one wheel fell off, but to actually replace that wheel and say, let's keep going. Yeah.

Sami-Jo Emsley (48:27)
Yes.

That's exactly what it is,

that's what you're doing by, you know, messing up and then the next day getting back to your good habits, that's you putting the wheel back on. Why on earth are you going to take the other three off and go, okay, that car's a dud now, then I can't do anything with that? Like you wouldn't, you would put the wheel back on. It's exactly the same thing. It's how you think about it. It's how you, yeah, it's all, like I said, it's all about the mind. The mind is the most important thing.

Samia (48:40)
Yes.

Yes, the mindset is huge. And speaking of the mindset, know that, you know, we've been talking about ⁓ areas in your health journey that have changed like nutrition and sleep and exercise and all that. But I know that when you and I had a talk,

earlier on we were talking about how busy your life was, especially with two little kids and special needs and you know everything that you have going on in your life and somehow you found the time to write a book in the midst of all that. You found a way to change your life, to change your habits and to write a book and that's just amazing and it's one of the reasons that I was really excited to bring you on the show because you're such an inspiration to us. So

You've written this book that's coming out soon. Can you tell us what inspired you to write it and what readers can gain from it?

Sami-Jo Emsley (50:01)
Absolutely. So my goal in life is to make spirituality accessible to busy women. Okay. So women that are time poor, are, you know, burnt out, just like completely think there's no possible way that they could even start exploring that. I know how much it's changed my mindset and how much it's helped me.

I've seen how much it's helped other people that I have treated. And I wanted to create a tool for those women, whether, you know, they are lacking in time, they feel like they wouldn't know where to start. A lot of people say to me, know, well, I feel like I have this intuition, but then I think I'm making it up in my head. And there's all these things that come up and they talk themselves out of it. So I wanted to write this book.

It was initially going to be a non-fiction book and just beginners guide to reading Oracle cards on a busy schedule. But then it turned into something more special because I've created a fictional side with characters that the readers will relate to. And, you know, they'll sort of, if somebody's writing about these characters, then there are people out there like that. It's not just me. So it eliminates that.

feeling of isolation for them. And then Woven Through, they've also got their Oracle practical lessons, which they can do in their own time. And it's also a great book that you can pick up and put down as you need to. It's not a massive book, can, you know, well, I'd recommend reading the fictional bit in order, but the lessons you can just like skip back and forth. And then at the end, you've got a lot of information about the history and things like that. So

Samia (51:26)
Yes.

Sami-Jo Emsley (51:53)
That's my book is a tool to make spirituality accessible for busy overwhelmed women.

Samia (52:00)
Wow, that sounds amazing. And how, how is the big question? How did you manage to write a book while balancing family life and your business and everything else?

Sami-Jo Emsley (52:05)
haha

I have a notebook in my kitchen and it's always there and when that gets full up another notebook is in my kitchen. It's always there on the side with the pen and when I have these like thoughts and ideas I can just jot it down quickly, jot it down quickly so I can be on the go and I can have these things pop into my head, take five seconds to write it down then when I've got time to myself I can start to turn it into something. Yeah, turn it into something.

I also did my non-negotiable, I think this is a thing that I've made up, my non-negotiable time slots. would obviously, my exercise is my 30 minutes when the boys are in bed and then I would literally like time block a couple of hours where my laptop would come out the same time, the same day. Routine, whether it's work, whether you're writing a book, whether you are...

Samia (52:49)
News.

Sami-Jo Emsley (53:08)
exercising, whatever you're doing, it's routine. And if it's the same time every single day, it's the same all the time, it's so much easier just to slot into. Because I was, you know, thinking I'm going to be overweight and unhealthy forever because there is no time to exercise. And now I am. And I have found time to write the book because I wanted to write the book. It was important to me. And I made it work for me.

Samia (53:27)
Yes.

Sami-Jo Emsley (53:36)
So I did what suited me. It's all about finding what suits you and then creating a routine with it that you're going to find easy to slot into your life.

Samia (53:39)
Got it.

Yes, that's such great advice. What other advice would you give women who feel ⁓ too busy, right, to focus on their health right now?

Sami-Jo Emsley (53:58)
Well, this might not sound very helpful, but I must stress to everyone, you're only too busy if you tell yourself you're too busy. You can, like I said earlier on, know, like plan ahead, make your lists of foods that you're gonna go for so when you're at the supermarket, then you know what you're going for and it's just done. No, you don't wanna have to think about it. No, you don't wanna have to think all these recipes, what am I gonna cook, my God, like no.

⁓ have it laid out, exercise, you don't even need to have half an hour. Just, you know, everyone has 10 minutes to do some squats if that's where you start. Or maybe you can walk the school run instead of drive if that's doable for you. You know, there is always a way. So I would just say to everybody, don't get stuck in that mindset where you're telling yourself you don't have the time.

and then making that a reality when it's actually not the reality and you're missing out on these wonderful things that you could be doing for yourself. Don't deprive yourself of that.

Samia (55:07)
Yeah, such great advice. Yes. ⁓ There's some research that says that you get the same benefit from doing 30 minutes of exercise as you do from doing five minutes of exercise six times a day, right? So it doesn't matter if you do the 30 all at once or if you do little bursts of five minutes here and five minutes there and it adds up to 30, right? So I love your advice and I love.

the idea of being able to start small, right? If it feels too overwhelming, just start with five minutes. And even if five minutes seems too much, you know, do one minute. Can you do one minute of jogging in place or, you know, something like that?

Sami-Jo Emsley (55:45)
Yeah.

Absolutely, yeah. I have a little trick as well where I will, obviously I'm in a position where I'm picking up lot of toys off the floor and plates that have fallen down and bits of food that have gone places and I will squat down to sweep and stand back up. Just something really silly like that. But rather than sort of bending over, I'll squat, I'll use my legs.

Samia (56:06)
Okay, yes.

Sami-Jo Emsley (56:12)
And then if you add that up, like how many times I'm doing that during the day, as long as I'm thinking about it, I don't do it every single time. But it's just like silly little things like that. And you can just start to feel your legs getting stronger just from something simple like that. So don't think that because you've only got time for simplicity that it's not worth doing because that's not the case.

Samia (56:17)
Yes.

Yeah.

That's correct. Okay, great. If you look back, what do you feel most proud of ⁓ out of the things that you've accomplished and in your wellness journey?

Sami-Jo Emsley (56:46)
My change in mindset, because I suffered a lot of years of, as I said to you, know, a healthy weight, did something naughty, gained a pound, like, what on earth? Like I'd give anything to be that weight now with the extra pound. So ⁓ it's the self-acceptance, it's the knowing that the wobbles don't define you, it's knowing that just because one wheel falls off, you don't need to take the rest off.

Samia (56:55)
Yes.

Yes.

Sami-Jo Emsley (57:15)
it's accepting that there work because if I didn't have a straight line of perfection I would just throw the towel in because I've ruined it all and that's so far from by throwing in the towel I've ruined it all but my little you know non-perfect moment didn't ruin anything and like I said I went through a lot of years giving myself a really hard time and a lot of a mental torture when I would slip back and I'm really proud that I've got to a point where I understand

Samia (57:24)
Yes.

Sami-Jo Emsley (57:46)
and that I accept that I'm not a perfect human being because that took quite a lot for me. So that's what I'm most proud of is that I've got to that point in my head now.

Samia (57:55)
Yes, I can imagine that's such a huge accomplishment. Was there anything that happened in your life or any point that you can remember that helped you to get there or was this something that just happened a little bit at a time for you?

Sami-Jo Emsley (58:12)
To be honest with you, I changed as a person when I became a mum. You become stronger and more resilient. And I think it's that. I think that turned me into a different person. And I realise now that my weight doesn't define me. And when I was younger, I did. And when you become a parent, you have different priorities and you know what's important.

Yeah.

Samia (58:43)
Yeah, yeah, at some point you prioritize yourself and that made a big difference in your life.

Sami-Jo Emsley (58:48)
Yeah,

yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's ⁓ yeah, for me, I'm yeah, I just felt so it's funny how you all of a sudden don't have a child and then this child is there and you feel like a completely stronger, more capable version of yourself. ⁓ You know, even though you're just like winging it and you've got this little human and you're thinking, what on do I do with this? Somehow you just, you just do it and you come out all the better for it. So yeah.

Samia (59:05)
Yes.

Yes.

Yes, great. Well, what's next for you personally and ⁓ professionally in your health journey?

Sami-Jo Emsley (59:28)
Personally, I am now looking at both of my boys being in, my youngest being in preschool and my oldest. We hadn't been able to find him a school placement because special sense settings are so hard to get into. But there's movement with that. So personally, I'm going to be looking at a whole new routine, changing things around, adapting to my newness.

and focusing on how to utilise my time in the best way around what my boys are doing. Professionally, the book is out next month, so that's really exciting. There is a free downloadable sample chapter of it floating around as well. ⁓ And then I have a free challenge group coming up for people that feel like they don't know where to start because of various reasons, women that are overwhelmed.

Samia (1:00:01)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Sami-Jo Emsley (1:00:25)
Just a little free challenge that I'm launching next month where people come in, find a community, learn how to implement their spirituality in little bite-sized chunks, ⁓ and be able to explore and get the goodness from it that I have.

Samia (1:00:41)
Wonderful. you have so many great things coming up. I'm so excited for you and so excited to see your book. What is the name of the book?

Sami-Jo Emsley (1:00:47)
Thank you.

It's the Vintage Housewives Oracle Club.

Samia (1:00:54)
Okay, perfect. We'll definitely be on the lookout for it next month when it comes ⁓ out. I'll also add the information, whatever information you're okay with me adding to the description on the podcast. So any listeners who want to know more about your work and look on there and find you. Great. Yes, of course. Okay. Yes, absolutely.

Sami-Jo Emsley (1:00:58)
Yeah.

⁓ lovely, thank you.

Come and connect, come and find your people.

Samia (1:01:23)
And I have one last question for you. Since this is Thursday Tea with Sami and I enjoy talking about tea, if you and I were sipping tea together right now, what kind of tea would you choose and why?

Sami-Jo Emsley (1:01:34)
Mm-hmm.

I would choose green tea. Green tea is my best friend. Obviously I like, I love how it tastes, but the anti-inflammatory properties that it has really helps with bloating. I'm always terrible. I can just have the smallest thing and I'll just balloon out. And it helps, yeah, it keeps my gut health in check. It keeps me feeling, yeah, more myself. So.

Yeah, I love the way that it tastes, its anti-inflammatory properties are a go-to for me. They just give me a lift, I suppose. Yeah, give me my boost.

Samia (1:02:15)
Yeah,

perfect. I'm a big fan of green tea as well. And I think if I didn't want to do the caffeine, because sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, right? ⁓ I think I would choose chamomile. That always kind of brings me back to childhood. Chamomile was always ⁓ something that was very soothing, that was given to me with love when I needed a little something. So ⁓ I think those two are my favorite. Yeah.

Sami-Jo Emsley (1:02:18)
Bye!

Yeah, absolutely.

think I would agree with you on that actually. Yeah, it would be the same for me.

Samia (1:02:47)
Yes.

Okay, perfect. We're more alike than we know. Same name, same teas. This is great.

Sami-Jo Emsley (1:02:56)
Absolutely.

Samia (1:02:58)
Sami, has been such ⁓ a joy to have you on the show and to hear all about your experience and how you've gotten to where you are. You're definitely somebody that we can look up to and learn from. And I so appreciate you taking the time to talk to us today.

Sami-Jo Emsley (1:03:18)
Thank you so much. It has been an absolute pleasure to be here and to share. So thank you so much.

Samia (1:03:23)
Of course, thanks.